Ball Four

I know I've given a shout out to Jim Bouton's "Ball Four" here before, but I'm reading it again in celebration of spring training starting up and I can't help but talk about it here.

If you're a baseball fan, and you've never read this book you need to take quick and decisive action and READ IT. It is groundbreaking, flat our hilarious, and even now when clubhouse tell-alls are commonplace, it stands out as a truly genuine peek into professional baseball.

And it reads like a really great blog, broken down with an entry per day, each delightfully scattered and almost schizophrenic.. In fact it makes me want to blog with the candor and random chain of consciousness that Bouton writes with. We'll see, I may start a little experiment.

Also, Jim Bouton would be great on twitter.

That's all.

Late Pass Wednesday: Dodger Game

Wow. This a real throwback. In July we were down in southern California to take part in the epic Morris/Ross wedding & to visit my Grandparents. On a whim we bought some tickets to a Dodger game and set out to see what Dodger Stadium was all about.
I have to say that we absolutely loved the atmosphere. It is a truly great baseball venue.
Of course no baseball game is complete without capturing Manny Ramirez scratching his nutsack in between innings. Boy oh boy did Zeb's extreme long range lens come in handy. And to think, I once told him that there was no way we would ever have a use for such a high powered telescopic lens. Man, was I wrong.
And to top it all off this is the view over LA from outside Dodger Stadium. Breathtaking.

Late Pass Wednesday: Pitching Machine Fiasco

I know I haven't posted much on it this year, but Zeb is coaching 13/14 year old baseball through the Boys and Girls Club of Corvallis again this year. He had high expectations for the year with several kids returning this year that he coached last year. At some point in the middle of the season, with the team slumping at the plate, Zeb decided that the only way for his team to take it to the next level was if they had a pitching machine to hit off of everyday in practice. I did my best to dissuade the man, but he had already ventured too far into what I will from this point on refer to as "Zeb-Deals Mode" I will outline this phenomenon in a soon to come blog so that you may gather further information on "Zeb-Deals Mode," such as symptoms and possible prevention strategies.

Zeb somehow managed to find this pitching machine as pictured above from a college kid living in Medford. Apparently it is a $2000 machine, which Zeb somehow convinced the kid to sell it to him for $350 - and then Zeb somehow convinced the parents of his team to all pitch in money toward the cause. So really all that ended up coming out of my pocket was $10 and the gas money it took to get to Medford and back.
As much as I put up a fuss about Zeb spending money on such funny thing, it turned out to be a lot of fun. We've gone out to the baseball field and taken a few buckets of balls on some Sundays (Even Ollie got the run around the field and shag balls - he actually did bring a few in from the outfield, but I think he took more out there than he brought in,) which was fun as hell. And the kids on Zeb's team absolutely think it is the coolest thing in the world. All in all I guess it was worth it. We like to joke around about tearing down the fence we share with one of our neighbors (basically Zeb's soulmate, the husband of the family is a baseball coach at CHS, a Red Sox fan & about as crude & blunt as Zeb) and building an ajoined hitting cage in our back yards. Complete with field lights for the nighttime. Yeah, I really don't think we would have any problem getting that passed by the Home Owners Association.

I'm Not Even Mad

I can't even be mad at this, that's how impressive it is. Just some good effing baseball, stealing home and other shenanegans.

We Like Sportz

First, on a completely unrelated topic, let me say: Screw you Josh Beckett, and your 10 strike-out getting ass.

Since Charles brought this up, it really wouldn't be fair to deprive the "Married To The Game" readership. Basically it started out as something that Damon and I thought was hilarious for no apparent reason. It reminds us of Zeb, especially the "when my team loses I'll be mean all night" line. And it makes us laugh hysterically.

Yesterday I was mean all night, by the way.

Some however (COUGH *charles* COUGH) don't find it to be funny at all. So solve this debate for us please, is this video funny or not?

Opening Day

This pretty much sums up my day.

By today I was JUICED for the Yankees opening day. I'd been watching plenty of baseball tonight, and I'd been buying into what the sports casters were saying about my boys. They said that they looked GOOOOOOOD. I'm talking filthy good.

This weekend we had our first real sun, which, as anyone who has ever lived in Oregon knows, means that 1) Everyone has been outside soaking up that 70 degree Sun from sunrise to sunset, 2) Everyone has a nasty sun burn from finally uncovering their neon white skin, 3) Everyone is in the best mood possible, because they're high off sunlight.

I wake up this AM, fresh off my weekend of sun intoxication, promptly dress for work in SHORTS, yeah, thats right. And roll off to work, barely able to stand myself and the anticipation of opening day, and my new ace, CC Sabathia pitching a gem.

Let me just cut to the chase. CC gave up 6 runs in 4.1 innings, his first start without a strike out since July 2005, oh yeah, and the first time EVER that a yankee starter gave up 5 walks with no strikeouts on an opening day. Awesome. I'm pissed. I kick over my co-worker's chair. Don't feel bad for him. He asked for it.

In other news I picked my fantasy baseball team name. HangOutW/YourWangOut, with a picture of Chien-Ming Wang on my profile. And don't worry my first post draft move was to pick up Chein-Ming Wang. Luckily enough, I also have C.C. "I only pitched 4.1 innings in my Yankee Debut" Sabathia on my fantasy team too.

Ken Griffey Jr. hit a homerun in his prodigal return with the Mariners today. I love it. I have a theory that "The Kid" is going to light it up all year long, knocking bombs like he's on roids, only hes NOT of course. It's going to be like magic, he's going to recapture the glory of his youth. And then when A-Rod and Randy Johnson see how well he's doing with their old team, they are going to demand a trade and go back to Seattle also to create a 1995 alumni team. And Edgar Martinez & Jay Buehner (can't spell that) are going to come out of retirement too. And it's going to be amazing.

I guess you can now understand how my over-active imagination led me to believe that the Yankees were going to be awesome this year.

Teru Teru Bozu

This little guys is a Teru Teru Bozu (sunny, sunny little guy.) According to my Japanese Athletic Training Student, Yuri, he will keep it from raining. So far he is batting .666 in keeping us from getting rained out of practice or games. It might not be a sure thing....but it keeps us from getting too bored I suppose.

In other news I need help picking my team name for Fantasy Baseball. Check out the poll, and post up any other clever ideas you may have. I'm looking for something that has to do with one of the yankees, preferably CC Sabathia or Mark Texiera

Sugar

Yes, and Yes. Damon found this movie, and it is right up our alley.

Really?!? WBC Edition

One of my favorite recent SNL segments is "Really?!?" during the weekend update. If you're not familiar with it, check out this clip, one of my favorites of this gimmick.



So now that you get the reference, here's my version of REALLY?!?! World Baseball Classic Edition:

Alex Rodriguez, you're gonna pull up and decide you need surgery the week before WBC. Really!? You couldn't figure this one out, oh say ANYTIME earlier during the off season? Really!??! You're gonna decide that you need surgery a few weeks after you get busted for steroids, Really.

And team USA, you're gonna let Canada stay within 1 run all the way into the 9th inning? Really? Have you no national pride? You're playing in Toronto, and you're going to let the Canadian team think they even belong in the same ballpark as you. Really!? This isn't hockey you know. Really.

And really team USA, you have Ted Lily on your team? Really? Ted Lily hasn't even been an average baseball player since 1998, really. Maybe you could actually put away the Canadian team a little more authoritatively if you had more pitchers on the team that aren't Ted Lily. Really.

And The Netherlands (except I only like to pronounce it De NeDerlands) Really? Who knew they even play baseball there? Really. I have strong suspicion that most of these guys are actually cricket players that they recruited in order to field a team. Really.

And The Dominican Republic, really? You're gonna get beat by De NeDerlands? Do they even have 1 major league player on that team besides Sidney Ponson? Really!? And tell me, Mr. Alou, how are you going to manage a baseball team that is losing the elimination game to De NEDERLANDS and not keep David Ortiz in the lineup. REALLY. It's F'ing Big Papi, the clutchiest player in the MLB (second to Derek Jeter of course) Really?!? And you don't think that the guy who's made a career out of dropping bombs when a season is on the line might be able to to help your cause a little bit?!? Really. But you've got your son Moises Alou, who by the way hasn't taken an At Bat in a game in what, a year and a half, oh you've got him in the line-up. REALLY?!

Oh and Russell Martin, you're Candadian?! Really!??!

Dear God,

Lord Almighty, please don't let C.C. go down in a pile of flaming dog poop like Carl Pavano. It's all I'm asking for. I promise I'll do everything right and nothing wrong. I'll be nice to Zeb. Most of the time. Unless the Red Sox get Mark Texiera. Then all bets are off.

Amen.

You can't lie. This kid is filthy. I just hope that the Brewers didn't ride him 'til his arm fell off (oh yeah, they did,) and then forget to have it re-attached. Can't wait to see how this pans out. The bullpen still looks a little shaky though...

Also, the quest to determine professional sports most trailer-trashy team of all time is really starting to get going. I'm pulling for the Oakland Athletics circa FOREVER, or since the invention of white baseball cleats, and the opposition is championing the Atlanta Braves circa John Rocker era. You've got me on the whole John Rocker thing, but the A's have a long lineage of trailer-trashyness Mark McGuire/Bash Brothers, The Giambi Brothers, Nick Swisher. The list goes on. Post up with the team in all of sports history, doesn't have to be baseball that you think personifies trailer-trashyness. We'll poll it out when sufficent candidates have been nominated.

Come On Ride The Train...

...The Swisher-Train that is.* Typically this is some trailer-trashy, Oakland A's bullshit that I would never condone. Similar to the Yanks acquiring Jason Giambi back in the day. Let's just put it out there and say that if you've donned the dreaded white cleats, and stood for everything that the A's do (you know: facial hair, outdated uniforms, green and yellow color combo, dumb facial expressions, jose canseco), there's about 99.9% chance that I will not welcome your arrival on My New York Yankees.

But Giambi won my affection (you can not deny the power of the 'stache.) Oh yeah, I think it was somewhere around the time when A-Rod tried to slap the ball out of Bronson Arroyo's hand during the 2004 ALCS that I said to myself "You know that Giambi, he's not that bad."

Sidenote: Really A-Rod. You actually manage to make Bronson Arroyo look kind of cool. Really.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, so I was able to open up my fanhood to welcome Giambi, and what do you know? I'm ready to do it again. I for one am a huge proponent of the Yankees aquireing Nick Swisher and here's why:

1. Getting Swisher to play 1st base for a reasonable amount of money decreases the possibility that the Yankees will be drawn into bidding wars over Mark Texiera. Texiera is a great player, don't get me wrong, but the last thing the Yankees need is another over-priced slugger. We need pitcher's people!
   
2. Greg is a Nick Swisher fan so by association Greg is now officially a Yankees fan. Congratulations Greg. I'll teach you the secret hand shake later.

*Yes, I fully realize that this post is approximatly 2 months late, but I figure since the free-agent market is basically in a stand still until someone signs C.C. Sabathia I'm still within my statutes of limitation. Suck it.

Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures

I've been getting a lot of questions regarding Zeb & his mental and physical well-being now that the Red Sox are on the brink of playoff elimination. Let me tell you, things have been touch and go. Zeb and Damon had started to grow playoff beards at the start of the division series. At some point during game 4 of the ALCS Zeb got desperate and shaved his beard into a mustache (if it worked for Giambi, why not Zeb?) The mustache didn't seem to be anymore effective than the beard, and Zeb has now returned to his normal, clean shaven apperance.

Needless to say, Zeb has been going through some serious guess and check measures to figure out which of his superstitions are working and which need to be eliminated. After the outcome of tonight's game, I'd say he's finally starting to get on track.
He started with some good preparation yesterday when he wore his classic Pedro Martinez jersey all day (yes, this is the very same jersey he wore out historically in Eugene in '04 after game 3 of the ALCS in which the Yankees had manhandled the Sox to the tune of 19-3 or something of that nature. Down 0-3, and yes, on the verge of elimination, Zeb showed his devotion to the team by supporting the team colors even when it was somewhat difficult to do so) He has also reverted to an old tradition of setting up the team line-up in front of the TV in baseball cards. He had not been doing this previously this post-season for fear that Ollie might jump up by the TV and damage his cards.
Any other baseball fans had about enough of Bon Jovi? If I hear that stupid song that they're using for the MLB post-season commercial, in between EVERY SINGLE INNING gimmick one more time I'm going to freak out. Oh yeah, that already happened. Jon Bon Jovi, you give MLB post-season theme songs a bad name.

p.s. Best quote by Zeb tonight, said while complaining about how the Red Sox fans were quiet and not giving it their all during most of the series so far: "Yeah, I've been flaming Sox Nation all day on the forums!!!!!" (said in a super juiced/fired up way) .......... Me = "wow"

It Begins

You may not be aware of it, but the world as we know it almost ended this morning. Zeb woke up and couldn't find his Soxtober sweatshirt. The sweatshirt that I had made for him with iron on letters. You know - the sweatshirt that single-handedly won the 2007 World Series for the Red Sox. Yeah, that sweatshirt. Zeb had somehow misplaced it during the course of the move from Montana, and even though I offered to make a new one - no replacement would do.

Luckily he found it (exactly where I said it would be by the way) in the storage unit about a half hour later.
I got home from work only to find lucky sox baseball cards lined up in front of the computer. And it begins...

In other baseball related news: In the absence of a Yankees playoff birth, I would officially like to announce that I will be supporting the LA Dodgers this October.

Who will you be backing? Post up your alliances so that we can properly congratulate/heckle you.

Zeb's Pre-Playoff Preparations: The Interview

Here's a fun feature we started last fall during the playoffs.  An interview with Zeb to get inside the head of an insane Boston Red Sox fan.  Beware, what you read may disturb you.  My comments are in italics.

HAE: When does the Red Sox series start?  Who do they play?

ZBE:  They start Wednesday, October 1, and they are playing the Los Angeles Angles of Anaheim.

HAE: What are your plans for this year’s playoffs?  Any new superstitions I should be aware of?

ZBE:  (long sigh)  No new superstitions.  I am really worried that I’m going to have to work and I won’t be able to put in my full effort for the Sox.  They are going to need my strength. 

HAE:  So you’re just going to let it go like that?  No adaptations for your superstitions?

ZBE:  Oh no, I’m going to have to #1) use my lucky cards.  I’ll set those up at work.  Of course I’ll dress in my Red Sox gear & do my own thing.  It’s a new environment, so I’ll just have to figure it out as I go.  Last year I had Pumpkin Ale for every game, but this year I don’t have a World Market close by to get the Pumpkin Ale & I can’t drink at work. 

HAE:  What about any new gimmicks, like your Soxtober shirt from last year?

ZBE:  I don’t think I’ll rock any new gimmicks.  I think I’ll need to go out and wear what worked last year.  But I tell you what, I will work on a new slogan for this year.  Right now it’s just too early to say.

HAE:  What is the Red Sox biggest strength this year?

ZBE:  Camaraderie of the team.  LOL @ Damon.

HAE:  Biggest weakness?

ZBE:  Pitching.  I think Beckett being injured with an oblique problem, not being able to be the “Ace” of the staff, we are going to have to roll with Lester & Dice-K then Beckett.  If I had my way we would be able to run Beckett, Lester then Dice-K.

HAE:  What other key series will you have your eye on?

ZBE:  I know what series I won’t have my eye on, and that’s a Yankees series or a Mets series.  But I am really worried about Tampa Bay.

HAE:  How do you plan to overcome the fact that you frequently have to work late?  Will you look at scores ahead of time, if not, do you have any strategies planned for avoiding unintentional score spoilers?

ZBE:  They do have a small 13 inch TV in the break room that cuts in and out of color.  I’m sure I’ll put that on and check on it pretty regularly.  Trust me, I’ll get my Soxtober in.

HAE:  Admit it – without the Yankees in the playoffs there is a little something missing.

ZBE:  Yeah, an easy opponent, you’re right. (Hartburned)

HAE:  3 Red Sox keys to victory?

ZBE:  1)      Starters need to fill the role of Josh Beckett and his dominance last year.

2)      Team needs to stay healthy, with Lowell, Drew and Beckett all dealing with nagging issues, it will be a huge factor in their ability to get to the World Series.

3)      Jacoby needs to get on base.

HAE:  World Series prediction?

ZBE:  Whoever wins the Sox/Angels division series is going to take it all the way.  In the NL I think the Dodgers will knock off the Cubbies.  The Brewers won’t be able to ride C.C. Sabathia much longer, so the Phillies will take that series.  I think the Dodgers will beat the Phillies as well.  Sox over Dodgers in 7 on an Ortiz walk of homerun, Manny Ramirez breaks his arm.  But hey, nobody thought the Rays would hang on to 1^st place in the AL east, so who knows.

HAE:  We have a good little handful of either LA residents or other miscellaneous Angel’s fans that read the blog – any trash talk/comments for them?

ZBE:  No, I’m going to be a humble guy until we win it all.  You can’t talk shit until the game has been played, its really whoever is going to show up. (There's a first for everything)

HAE:  What team do you think Ollie will be pulling for?

ZBE:  Ollie is definitely a Boston guy.

HAE:  Final thoughts?

ZBE:  Damon/Zach - you better pull for your Dodgers to beat those Cubbies so I can see you in the World Series.

Official American Mustache Institute Statement On The Passing of Giambi's Mustache

It lived a life most of us would envy. But in the end, Jason Giambi's mustache never really had a chance, and ended up in a bathroom basin, dead after less than a few months of life.

The American Mustache Institute salutes Mr. Giambi and his mustache, for having the bravery to walk proudly down the same lines upon which other great Yankee mustaches have -- including Reggie Jackson, Thurman Munson, Don Mattingly, and Sal Fasano. Our hearts and prayers go out to Mr. Giambi, his family, and the Yankees organization. And while we are all gravely disappointed by the passing of Jason's mustache, no one, or thing, feels a greater loss than his upper lip. The thick coating of fur had become a part of that lip - like peanut butter and jelly - and we can only hope Giambi's late lip sweater isin a better place.

It is important during this time of mourning that we all reflect and understand that every time a mustache is shaved, an angel in heaven dies and falls to earth. And the American Mustache Institute has established a fund in memory of Mr. Giambi's mustache that will be used to educate young people about the merits of facial hair, circus clowns, and juggling.

In the end, while the hearts of mustached-Americans everywhere are broken, we must always remind ourselves that a mustache is a terrible thing to shave.

We look forward to a newly erected monument in the new Yankee Stadium commemorating Giambi's mustache alongside Ruth, Gehrig, and DiMaggio.

There's No More Hits In It

ARLINGTON, Texas -- Jason Giambi arrived in the Yankees clubhouse Monday without his famous mustache. But it won't be gone for long, he said.

Giambi, who began to swing well around the time he decided to grow a mustache back in May, has been slumping, hitting .234 with three homers in July and going 0-for-9 through three August games. But he kept the facial hair because the team was still winning.

He was taken out of the game in the eighth inning Sunday for defensive purposes, and when the Yankees fell behind 9-8, Giambi decided to shave.

"I shaved it as soon as I came out of the game," Giambi said. "We were losing when they hit that grand slam and then we came back and won."

Giambi said he's already growing a new mustache.

"In about a week, it will be back. It goes hand and hand with winning," Giambi said. "I would have kept it if we were winning that game."

Perhaps the mustache was weighing him down. In his first two mustache-free at-bats, he hit an RBI single in the first and an upper-deck home run in the fourth. He hadn't had a hit since Thursday.

Giambi came into the game hitting .249 with 20 homers and 62 RBIs.

Mourning Manny

Gotta say, I'd been hoping that the Sox would trade off Manny before the deadline, mostly just because I think they'll be easier to beat without his bat. Yeah, less distractions in the club house, blah, blah blah. We'll see how it all ends up working out for them, Jason Bay is pretty comparable as far as the stats go this season, but I still think they'll be missing that "Manny being Manny" factor.

You know, it's actually kind of sad to see him go. Manny is one of the best in the game, and that makes beating the Red Sox even more sweet. He was a huge core to the Red Sox success in the recent years, so it's a little bit of an end of an era. Hopefully, an era that ushers in a few more World Series Titles for the Yankees, then I'm sure I won't miss seeing Manny in the other dugout at all.

Around The Horn

Oh Hi, yeah, I've been struggling with the blogging this week. Maybe it's because I'm pretty busy mourning my life - which is about to be over tomorrow when Football reports for Fall Camp. Here's a few tidbits of what's been going on:

1. Who do the Angels think they are? They go out and trade for Mark Texiera, and then Lackey damn near pitches a No-No against Boston on the same day. F you guys.
2. Ha! Yankees get Pudge, I like this. We're making moves, who knows if it's going to work, but we're making moves. If only the Red Sox would unload Manny it could be damn near the best trade deadline EVER.
3. Okay, so I've been sulking this week. Really last weekend through this week. "This is my last week of freedom before Football Camp" We went out to dinner with Damon the other night and I tried to make them go around the table and say one thing they would miss about me while my life is taken over by Football. They refused to play along, spoil sports. I thought it would be fun.
4. Thursday is reporting day for football, so we're officially going into Fall Camp. I am going to try to post of some sort of Fall Camp Notes, ridiculous things that occur, because there are always several. We'll see how that goes.
5. Zeb has a new job, Assistant Athletic Director at the Corvallis Boys & Girls Club. So far he is really enjoying it, it's right up his alley and he seems to be doing an awesome job. I can tell he likes it because when he was working at Home Depot he would work a 4 or 5 hour shift and come home complaining about how horrible it was, how long, how difficult. Last week on the other hand, he was working very long hours (12 hour days or so) at the State Baseball Tournament hosted by the Boys & Girls Club and he would come home all chippery. Makes a difference when you like what you do.
   

Eh. I guess that's it. More to come later.

Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this?

Got my T-Shirt in today - I'm pretty juiced. Photo-shopped my mustache on, probably not the best look for me, but it's for a good cause. Oh yeah, there isn't really a cause. Eh. I was in 7/11 today wearing my shirt and some guys started laughing at me. Awkward. Might have to reconsider wearing this in public again.
This fake 'stache came with my shirt, so I put it on Dwight. I find that it helps me remember to be a badass at work.

Mitch Canham Article

Great article about a former Beav. Check it out here! Click this link for some more pictures that go along with the article: Zoom Gallery. I just want you all to know that for some reason the enter button on Zeb's keyboard is not working right now, and the inability to create a space between lines surprisingly aggravating. Am currently about .46 seconds away from ripping the keyboard off it's cord and banging it against the desk. :)