Kirby Vacuum Sales Man

Can someone explain to me why when I called home at 8:30 PM on a Saturday night Zeb was at the house having an in home demonstration by two Kirby vacuum salesmen?

Don't worry, he also had the neighbor (Maahk, who coincidentally wouldn't let the Kirby vacuum salesmen in his own home) over drinking beer, eating pizza, and watching two grown men vacuum our house.

By the way, what kind of vacuum salesman goes around knocking on doors at 8:30 PM on a Saturday? Is this his third job? Is this a Dog the Bounty Hunter sting operation?

On the bright side, if Zeb's idea of a wild Saturday night is tricking two strangers into cleaning our house for free, then I there could be much worse things.

Late Pass Wednesday: Pitching Machine Fiasco

I know I haven't posted much on it this year, but Zeb is coaching 13/14 year old baseball through the Boys and Girls Club of Corvallis again this year. He had high expectations for the year with several kids returning this year that he coached last year. At some point in the middle of the season, with the team slumping at the plate, Zeb decided that the only way for his team to take it to the next level was if they had a pitching machine to hit off of everyday in practice. I did my best to dissuade the man, but he had already ventured too far into what I will from this point on refer to as "Zeb-Deals Mode" I will outline this phenomenon in a soon to come blog so that you may gather further information on "Zeb-Deals Mode," such as symptoms and possible prevention strategies.

Zeb somehow managed to find this pitching machine as pictured above from a college kid living in Medford. Apparently it is a $2000 machine, which Zeb somehow convinced the kid to sell it to him for $350 - and then Zeb somehow convinced the parents of his team to all pitch in money toward the cause. So really all that ended up coming out of my pocket was $10 and the gas money it took to get to Medford and back.
As much as I put up a fuss about Zeb spending money on such funny thing, it turned out to be a lot of fun. We've gone out to the baseball field and taken a few buckets of balls on some Sundays (Even Ollie got the run around the field and shag balls - he actually did bring a few in from the outfield, but I think he took more out there than he brought in,) which was fun as hell. And the kids on Zeb's team absolutely think it is the coolest thing in the world. All in all I guess it was worth it. We like to joke around about tearing down the fence we share with one of our neighbors (basically Zeb's soulmate, the husband of the family is a baseball coach at CHS, a Red Sox fan & about as crude & blunt as Zeb) and building an ajoined hitting cage in our back yards. Complete with field lights for the nighttime. Yeah, I really don't think we would have any problem getting that passed by the Home Owners Association.

Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures

I've been getting a lot of questions regarding Zeb & his mental and physical well-being now that the Red Sox are on the brink of playoff elimination. Let me tell you, things have been touch and go. Zeb and Damon had started to grow playoff beards at the start of the division series. At some point during game 4 of the ALCS Zeb got desperate and shaved his beard into a mustache (if it worked for Giambi, why not Zeb?) The mustache didn't seem to be anymore effective than the beard, and Zeb has now returned to his normal, clean shaven apperance.

Needless to say, Zeb has been going through some serious guess and check measures to figure out which of his superstitions are working and which need to be eliminated. After the outcome of tonight's game, I'd say he's finally starting to get on track.
He started with some good preparation yesterday when he wore his classic Pedro Martinez jersey all day (yes, this is the very same jersey he wore out historically in Eugene in '04 after game 3 of the ALCS in which the Yankees had manhandled the Sox to the tune of 19-3 or something of that nature. Down 0-3, and yes, on the verge of elimination, Zeb showed his devotion to the team by supporting the team colors even when it was somewhat difficult to do so) He has also reverted to an old tradition of setting up the team line-up in front of the TV in baseball cards. He had not been doing this previously this post-season for fear that Ollie might jump up by the TV and damage his cards.
Any other baseball fans had about enough of Bon Jovi? If I hear that stupid song that they're using for the MLB post-season commercial, in between EVERY SINGLE INNING gimmick one more time I'm going to freak out. Oh yeah, that already happened. Jon Bon Jovi, you give MLB post-season theme songs a bad name.

p.s. Best quote by Zeb tonight, said while complaining about how the Red Sox fans were quiet and not giving it their all during most of the series so far: "Yeah, I've been flaming Sox Nation all day on the forums!!!!!" (said in a super juiced/fired up way) .......... Me = "wow"

It Begins

You may not be aware of it, but the world as we know it almost ended this morning. Zeb woke up and couldn't find his Soxtober sweatshirt. The sweatshirt that I had made for him with iron on letters. You know - the sweatshirt that single-handedly won the 2007 World Series for the Red Sox. Yeah, that sweatshirt. Zeb had somehow misplaced it during the course of the move from Montana, and even though I offered to make a new one - no replacement would do.

Luckily he found it (exactly where I said it would be by the way) in the storage unit about a half hour later.
I got home from work only to find lucky sox baseball cards lined up in front of the computer. And it begins...

In other baseball related news: In the absence of a Yankees playoff birth, I would officially like to announce that I will be supporting the LA Dodgers this October.

Who will you be backing? Post up your alliances so that we can properly congratulate/heckle you.

Zeb's Pre-Playoff Preparations: The Interview

Here's a fun feature we started last fall during the playoffs.  An interview with Zeb to get inside the head of an insane Boston Red Sox fan.  Beware, what you read may disturb you.  My comments are in italics.

HAE: When does the Red Sox series start?  Who do they play?

ZBE:  They start Wednesday, October 1, and they are playing the Los Angeles Angles of Anaheim.

HAE: What are your plans for this year’s playoffs?  Any new superstitions I should be aware of?

ZBE:  (long sigh)  No new superstitions.  I am really worried that I’m going to have to work and I won’t be able to put in my full effort for the Sox.  They are going to need my strength. 

HAE:  So you’re just going to let it go like that?  No adaptations for your superstitions?

ZBE:  Oh no, I’m going to have to #1) use my lucky cards.  I’ll set those up at work.  Of course I’ll dress in my Red Sox gear & do my own thing.  It’s a new environment, so I’ll just have to figure it out as I go.  Last year I had Pumpkin Ale for every game, but this year I don’t have a World Market close by to get the Pumpkin Ale & I can’t drink at work. 

HAE:  What about any new gimmicks, like your Soxtober shirt from last year?

ZBE:  I don’t think I’ll rock any new gimmicks.  I think I’ll need to go out and wear what worked last year.  But I tell you what, I will work on a new slogan for this year.  Right now it’s just too early to say.

HAE:  What is the Red Sox biggest strength this year?

ZBE:  Camaraderie of the team.  LOL @ Damon.

HAE:  Biggest weakness?

ZBE:  Pitching.  I think Beckett being injured with an oblique problem, not being able to be the “Ace” of the staff, we are going to have to roll with Lester & Dice-K then Beckett.  If I had my way we would be able to run Beckett, Lester then Dice-K.

HAE:  What other key series will you have your eye on?

ZBE:  I know what series I won’t have my eye on, and that’s a Yankees series or a Mets series.  But I am really worried about Tampa Bay.

HAE:  How do you plan to overcome the fact that you frequently have to work late?  Will you look at scores ahead of time, if not, do you have any strategies planned for avoiding unintentional score spoilers?

ZBE:  They do have a small 13 inch TV in the break room that cuts in and out of color.  I’m sure I’ll put that on and check on it pretty regularly.  Trust me, I’ll get my Soxtober in.

HAE:  Admit it – without the Yankees in the playoffs there is a little something missing.

ZBE:  Yeah, an easy opponent, you’re right. (Hartburned)

HAE:  3 Red Sox keys to victory?

ZBE:  1)      Starters need to fill the role of Josh Beckett and his dominance last year.

2)      Team needs to stay healthy, with Lowell, Drew and Beckett all dealing with nagging issues, it will be a huge factor in their ability to get to the World Series.

3)      Jacoby needs to get on base.

HAE:  World Series prediction?

ZBE:  Whoever wins the Sox/Angels division series is going to take it all the way.  In the NL I think the Dodgers will knock off the Cubbies.  The Brewers won’t be able to ride C.C. Sabathia much longer, so the Phillies will take that series.  I think the Dodgers will beat the Phillies as well.  Sox over Dodgers in 7 on an Ortiz walk of homerun, Manny Ramirez breaks his arm.  But hey, nobody thought the Rays would hang on to 1^st place in the AL east, so who knows.

HAE:  We have a good little handful of either LA residents or other miscellaneous Angel’s fans that read the blog – any trash talk/comments for them?

ZBE:  No, I’m going to be a humble guy until we win it all.  You can’t talk shit until the game has been played, its really whoever is going to show up. (There's a first for everything)

HAE:  What team do you think Ollie will be pulling for?

ZBE:  Ollie is definitely a Boston guy.

HAE:  Final thoughts?

ZBE:  Damon/Zach - you better pull for your Dodgers to beat those Cubbies so I can see you in the World Series.

Late Pass Wednesday

I know I haven't been blogging much lately, but this should more than make up for it. Let me set the stage for you:

Me = watching the world series in our bedroom in Bozeman, with handy camera phone. Zeb = watching the world series down stairs. Red Sox win and chaos ensues. enjoy.

Soxtober

In the name of parity on on the blog, I suggested that Zeb post a blog on the Red Sox. He declined my suggestion, but he did agree to give a rare interview on the topic. Enjoy. My notes are in italics.

HAE: Your Red Sox just won the ALCS…give us an idea of where your head is at right now?
ZBE: In the land of joy. I can’t believe my boys did it. It had to have been the cards (Zeb's newest ritual of displaying baseball cards of the entire team in front of the TV during the game, also, I'm not allowed to touch the remote during a game, for any reason), it had to have been the soxtober shirt (an iron on sweatshirt that I fabricated for Zeb, pictured above), it had to be Heather rooting for the sox (I was not technically rooting for the Sox...maybe a little, but only because when they lose it is really unfortunate to be around Zeb, it was really all about self preservation.) It all just came together today.

HAE: Can we talk about your superstitions? What are they, how do they work & how do you know when to use them?
ZEB: I have a supersition about everytime the pitcher gets behind in the count, I have to rub my knuckles together until they even the count. I had to bring out the 2007 team baseball cards and I set them up by the TV in batting order. I always put the starting pitcher in the leadoff spot, because the pack didn’t come with Dustin Pedroia, and I always end with Paplebon. That has been some good vibes. When we’re hitting, and when the count is even, and if I’m sitting down, I always put my left leg up on my right, and then I switch legs. If that doesn’t work, I lay down on the couch, and same thing if laying down isn’t working. I always wear the shirt of the pitcher. I don’t have a Beckett shirt, or a Wakefield shirt, so I wear either the American Leauge East shirt or the Manny Ramirez shirt on those days. I never wear a hat during the game.

HAE: Give us your highs and lows of the ALCS?
ZBE: The first low is when Trot Nixon hit the double in the 11th inning of the 2nd game. That pissed me off, and they pretty much opened up and took the next two games from us. Even when we were losing, I just keep thinking we’ve done it before, we can do it again. I really just wanted the team to get it back to Fenway, because I knew we could win both games there if we had the chance. Definitely the first high is watching Beckett dominate in his two starts. How dominante he was against the powerful Indians lineup was magical. Watching our lineup destroy C.C. and Fausto was amazing to see.

HAE: What is the turning point of this series that sticks out in your mind?
ZBE: Probably Beckett’s game 5 start, and the fact that he was just a force to be reconed with. Ryan Garko made his comments, and it really did wake up the giants in Fenway. That same game you have Beckett and his competitive edge against Kenny Lofton. Lofton should have been respecting the game more, and Beckett wasn’t afraid to let him know.

HAE: What are the great individual player performances of this post season?
ZBE: Game 7 Dustin Pedroia. He hit a 2 run homer, a 3 run double after all the crap the media talked about how much he was struggling. He came back and he’s batting
well over .300 now. You have Kevin Youk. Everyone was talking about Peralta and all that he was doing, but Youk flew under the radar. He had 3 homers and a batting average of over .500. How does he do it?

HAE: Speaking of your superstitions again, do you have any new plans for the World Series?
ZBE: I’m going to the World Series. (doubtful)

HAE: Can you talk a little bit about the loud clap?
ZBE: I don’t have a loud clap. (Yes he does, very loud) It’s more or less just my fan clap that I have when I want someone to do good. It could be a 2-clap, or it could be a fast series of claps, but it has to all keep the same tone (yeah, the same tone, LOUD).

HAE: The Colorado Rockies have been hot, are you worried?
ZBE: Nope.

HAE: Give us your predictions for the World Series? Keys to victory for Boston?
ZBE: I definitely think that our 3 and 4 starters need to pound the strike zone and let the defense take over. Keeping the bottom of our lineup hot and getting on base will be huge. Keeping Jacoby in there I think is definitely a smart decision. Prediction is Boston in 5.

HAE: In 2004 you threatened to sell your Honda Civic and fly to Boston, do we have anything to be worried about this year?
ZBE: We have enough in savings to take care of it. (not hardly)

Late Pass Wednesday: Fire Hydrant Fiasco Reinactment

Hey hey hey, yes it's Late Pass Wednesday again and this time we have a very special treat. Some of you may remember Zeb's Great Hydrant Fiasco of '07 that took place late last spring. While Emily & Chicken were here we were lucky enough to visit the site of the hydrolic mishap for a full reinactment. If you don't remember the story, check out this blog entry. I also thought that Zeb took the liberty to explain the whole situation somewhere in the comments, but I couldn't find it. If you want to hear the whole story, give him a call. He loves to tell it.

This is allegedly how far Zeb was thrown into the intersection by the explosive hydrant.

Enjoy.

'Stache Appreciation Day

This 'stache was just a very very temporary stop on the way to cleanshaven-ness the other day, but I do think it suits him. It could be a good look for him approximatley 10-15 years from now.

Zeb's Summer Fashion Update

This summer is all about plaid, at least according to Zeb. Before we left for the Bahamas Zeb stocked up on plaid shorts. Pictured below are some examples of the plaids that he rocks on a regular basis. He actually wanted two more pairs of plaid shorts in addition to these, but I was able to talk him out of it. How much plaid does one man really need? Apparently it was just such a good deal on these plaid shorts, that he got a little over zealous.
Don't worry, as pictured above, swimming trunks also come in plaid.
One more item of plaid that Zeb has had his eye on is this pair of plaid slip-on's from Vans. It's a good look, my only question is regarding the mixing of more than one pattern of plaid. Hmmm...

Zeb's New Computer

I guess one of the last big items that Zeb has been wanting/needing (it's hard for me to differentiate) for a long time is a new computer. Along with the TV and the sound system these were all purchases that I had been forcing him to put off since about the time we got engaged. I made promises (e.g. "Once the wedding is over, you can get whatever you want") that I hoped he would forget about. I suppose I should feel lucky that he spread out said purchases over the course of our first year, and not our first month as a married couple. The day I had been dreading finally came, there was no more holding out on a new computer. The thing that confused me though, and continues to confuse me (if anyone has any insight, please comment) is: why would you want to buy a computer in all it's various parts and then have to put it together yourself?
Honestly he didn't seem to really be enjoying himself. In fact to me, he seemed tortured. Maybe the more torturous the process is, the more self satisfaction you have when it is finally completed? It seems to me that I would have more satisfaction if I could just open up a box, plug my computer in and be on my way. Whatever makes you happy.
The house was destroyed. Boxes and various computer parts everywhere. The process was highly frowned upon.

One of many blue screens of death, lead to increasing frustration,
and significant amounts of time spent talking to technical support (a.k.a. Damon)
That was solved, but another technical problem with drivers/video card prompted several more hours spent on the phone to actual professional technical support, only to be solved by Zeb networking online with some other computer geeks.

Thankfully, now it is done. Over the last week there have been some minor hiccups, but its looking pretty good. I'm mostly just happy that the office is now neat, tidy and organized.
I just don't understand why the old computer, which is supposedly "dead" is still in his closet???

What's New with me!

I just started the 3:00am shift for the remaining 2 weeks of it. It's the first day and I can say I'm really not that tired but ask me by thursday. It gives me some free time beings as I get done with work at 11 so I thought I would post on here. Heather just recently showed me Curt Schillings blog and I started to read it and found out that it was genuine so I posted and he responded to my post. I actually really enjoyed his answers to my questions. Your job is to read the Q&A's and then think of a good question to ask him and next time I post I will include you guys as well.

Q-1) I do see the yanks would be out of the question but who would be your top team choices to play for in 08(the Red Sox are the obvious choice)? A-I won’t go into detail for a lot of reasons. But suffice it to say that if it ends up not being Boston we’ll end up in a place with a team that we are comfortable with and that will have a chance to win it all.Q-2) If you could have a ‘Super’ Team who would be in your lineup?

A- Fun one. Starting 9 with a DH, and SP, from todays players? No payroll limit?

C-Jason Varitek – As good a handler of pitching staffs as anyone I’ve ever been around, coach or player. Not to mention he brings value in the clubhouse as well. I have heard Joe Mauer is this same kind of presence, but he brings some pretty incredible offensive tools that no other catcher in the game possesses. I’ll stick with what I know though and that makes Tek an easy choice.

1B- Albert Pujols – There are some other great ones here, Morneau is a stud, Helton, Ryan Howard. I love Lyle Overbay as well. But Albert is doing things no ones ever done, ever, and when you are doing things that have never been done in a game that’s over 100 years old, that’s something.

2B-Chase Utley- I don’t know a lot about him defensively but his production at a position that doesn’t have a lot of power is huge. If I had to pick this based on defense I’d go with Orlando Hudson hands down.

3B-Scott Rolen-Personal bias here since I had the good fortune of being his teammate. Along with Junior Spivey he’s the best athlete I’ve ever played with. Opening day in 1997, 9th innning, 1 run game, Brett Butler hits a spinning chopper over the 3rd base bag, Scott, running to his right, backhands the ball, falling into foul territory, spins and throws sidearm, perfect chest high strike on the bag. Still one of the better plays I’ve ever seen. Not to mention the guy runs the bases to perfection.

SS-Derek Jeter-Lots of good choices here but Derek may be the only guy in the game that you’d not be able to find someone that had something negative to say. He’s money on the games biggest stage and an often overlooked fact is that he plays every single day. Tejada is another one. He brings an immense amount of energy to the field and he plays to win. For pure defense I’d pick Alex Gonzalez with no one even a close second. I will argue until I die that he’s the best defensive shortstop that ever played. I still think he played the best defensive season in the games history last year. Chuck the range charts or whatever ‘scientific’ method is used, this guy was a stud from pitch one until the end of the season.

LF-Jason Bay-I think he’s a stud. Unfortunately he’s almost invisible in Pittsburgh. I don’t know much about him other than the few times I’ve faced him but he has put up some incredible numbers and I thought he was a pretty good defensive player as well. If it were pure offense I’d pick Manny hands down, twice on Sunday. Manny is still the best pure hitter I’ve ever played with. Matsui is, in my opinion, horrifically underrated as a run producer. The Yankee lineup is drastically different when he’s not in it.

CF-Andruw Jones-I’d pick him just to watch him shag during BP. He’s so incredibly gifted it’s unfair. I had a chance to get to know him when we were on the MLB team that toured Japan after the 1997 season and I was blown away at what a nice and respectful young kid he was, and he was a kid. Didn’t he hit 2 HR in a world series game when he was like 15?

RF-Vladimir Guerrero-Most plate coverage in the game. Can hit a ball a foot off the outside corner down the RF line and deep. Cannon for an arm. The funny thing about Vlad is that if you watch him doing something other than running or hitting he looks like he’s got a broken back. He limps around right up to the point where he beats you. Ichiro would be another great choice, incredible athlete. Bobby Abreu, JD Drew are both in for big years as well I think. Both can run, throw and grind out AB’s.

DH-Who else? David Ortiz-I think he’s in the midst of one of the better offense runs in baseball history. Though I think you could argue that Travis Hafner is every bit as good or at least getting there. Hafner continues to amaze me with his ability to manage the strike zone. He’ll chase every now and then but most times, against me anyway, he chases ‘good’ bad balls. He chases in areas he’s looking, as opposed to guys that chase just because they are swinging.

SP-Johan Santana-True legit ace. To me the earmark of an ace is innings. I think it’s far and away a SP most important stat. If you’re good, and you compile innings, the other numbers all take care of themselves. He’s dominant and he carries that to the mound with his presence. There are others I’d be more than ok with as well. Brandon Webb, Roy Oswalt, Ben Sheets, Josh, John Lackey, healthy Pedro, Carpenter, Halladay, Rich Harden, Sabathia, Verlander, Bonderman. True #1’s are guys who, if you don’t win on the day they start, everyone is stunned, I think every one of these guys brings that in spades. The guy that even on a bad day is going to get you through the 6th inning. That’s what I think about Halladay everytime he pitches.

Q-3) Honestly speaking when is Jacoby Ellsbury moving up in your eyes? I really enjoyed watching him play at OSU and not knocking
Coco but he hasn’t produced like I really thought he would of.

A-I have no idea. Obviously foot speed is not an issue but I don’t know enough about maturing as an offensive player to answer this one honestly. The few times I spoke with him this spring I realized he’s a good kid and driven to be a great player.

Join the Petition...TODAY

Now we all know that there has been something very important missing from this blog for some time now, and that thing is ZEB.

After much debate we have agreed to leave this issue up to the loyal readers of the blog.

The deal is that this blog entry will become a petition for Zeb to post more frequently. If 8 people who have posted comments previously and 8 new people who have never posted comments before make a post on this entry, then Zeb has agreed to post at least once a week. Additionally the petition must be completed within 10 days to be valid.

Get involved! Post up in support of Blogs by Zeb!

And now the TV that we all have been waiting for(or just me)

Of course you all know me and know I have wanted Plasma for a long time. Wait no more guys/gals the time has arrived. You know I don't buy anything full price so I did some dealing. So the biggest shopping weekend of the year was here and I thought it would be a great idea to start looking for the deals. So I started on Friday after my last day of work at Kamp Implement and drove to our local Vanns TV and Appliance dealer. I started off with just wondering around until the Ultimate Plasma TV, I WORK on Commission, gonna sell you the biggest largest Plasma with the MONSTER cables and the Surround System guy comes over to me. His name is Aaron. Anyway, he started talking about the TVs and then we came to the Samsung HP-S4253 where the picture was clear and the colors were so vivid that it felt like you were there holding the camera. I WAS IMPRESSED(it hit hard!!) So, he starts to tell me that it's 1299.99 on sale this weekend original price 1999.99. He goes on with his sale pitch of what else I can get with the saved money some Monster Cables, which you will have to get to watch TV and the super duper Surround Sound that is originally 1800.00 on sale for 425.00 this weekend. Gonna have to admit the deal sounded spectacular. So I got myself all physic up went home did some research on the TV and then did my sales pitch to Heather. hmmmmm.hmmmm Ya so after explaining to Heather my pitch she agreed that Saturday we would go and look at the TV. When we arrived Saturday morning Aaron saw me across the room and was like "HEY ZEB HOW ARE YOU" like he knew me for years. Im like hello? Anyway, He was too much for Heather and she gave him the death glare every time he did his sales pitch. They didn't get along so ya...We didn't get the TV but again Heather was right and a better deal awaited me. That night I did some calling to Best Buy and found out they match prices of Authorized dealers so they Best Buy guy his name is Trevor answered all my questions and even went to Vanns.com and was like yes we can match that price but we can also give you 1 more year on a warranty and 150 dollars cheaper. I was like this guy will work with me plus he was very intelligent with the TV. Anyway, I told Heather that we would be doing a road trip on Sunday in search for the deal of a lifetime on a TV. She said "I'm up or an adventure" SWEET!!!!!!!!!!! I was locked in Plasma mode now. I looked at weather conditions and what do you know SNOW AND ICE.... GREAT I was for sure that Heather wasn't going to be down with that. (But again she never fails me and was completely ok with it) Sunday comes and it snowed a good 5 inches with ice. Remember I was in Plasma mode now so nothing was stopping me. We set off at 10:30 and drove 2 1/2 hours to get there in the snow and ice. Below are some pictures of how it all went down at the Billings, MT Best Buy.
First Picture is Trevor showing me this Open Boxed Plasma, which added 10% off. Again, another Zeb Deal.

Applying for the Zero Percent
Checking Out damn that's a big bill

Waiting for the idiots outside to figure out how to load a fridge onto a trailer.
Trev shrink wrapping the TV for ultra weather protection
Trying to load it into the Civic(Trev said you BROUGHT A CAR?)

I say let me give it a try I'm going home with this TV