Stewardess on Crack

On the flight out of the Bahamas and into Atlanta we were witness to quite possibly the most aggravating stewardess in the history of flying. Here is a brief example of her shinanagans:

Before Take-Off:

Hey Everybody, this is your flight crew and we have been on the road for 3 days and are ready to get headed back to our hometown of HOTlanta, GA! We are raring to go. So ANYWAYS, we are going to do everything we can to make this flight the best flight of your life. We are going to make this flight like it was the best and live it like it was the last day of your life. why would you say this on an airplane?!?! So ANYWAYS, we can't wait to get back home and the pilot can not wait to get rid of me, he says I talk too much, he is right. But we here on the flight crew are going to do everything we can for you, to entertain you. So, ANYWAYS, have a great flight and I will be talking to you all again soon.

After Take-Off:

Hey Everybody! Good News! The captain says that we can turn off the seat belt sign and you are now free to move about the cabin. We are going to serve a snack and there are some new drinks that we are introducing from Delta, you can look those up in the magazine in your seatback on page 87, or if you want a more personal explaination you can ask one of us and we will be glad to tell you all about it. So, ANYWAYS! Sit back and relax and enjoy the flight.

Before landing:

Hey Everybody, good news! The Captain says that we are on time to land in HOTlanta, GA (otherwise known as Atlanta, Georgia.) We will be coming through the cabin to collect any trash that you may want to get rid of, please no babies, husbands or boyfriends.

After Landing:

Good news everybody! Another flight arriving early! Fabulous. We hope you have enjoyed your time on this flight and we hope that you will fly delta again soon. So ANYWAYS! On a more personal note all those tall model looking girls on the plane are the Montana State University Women's Basketball Team and they just came back from winning 4 games against the Bahamian National Team, which is an amazing accomplishment and we should all give them a big hand....yada yada, she kept going on, but it hurt my brain too much, so i quit listening.

As we are walking off the plane, talking to no person in particular she is blabbering about Montana:

Montana! I've been through Montana! I used to live in Seattle and I drove through Montana once when i was driving to, ooh, MICHIGAN! and that is one long state....blah blah blah...she again, kept going, but I was walking too quickly to get away from her so I don't know what the rest of the story was.

Basically take each excerpt that I have been able recreate and add at least a few more minutes of meaningless blabber and the words "So Anyways" and "Hotlanta, GA" repeated over and over to the front and back end of each quote provided and you will have a pretty accurate understanding of the world's most annoying stewardess ever. EVER.