Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures

I've been getting a lot of questions regarding Zeb & his mental and physical well-being now that the Red Sox are on the brink of playoff elimination. Let me tell you, things have been touch and go. Zeb and Damon had started to grow playoff beards at the start of the division series. At some point during game 4 of the ALCS Zeb got desperate and shaved his beard into a mustache (if it worked for Giambi, why not Zeb?) The mustache didn't seem to be anymore effective than the beard, and Zeb has now returned to his normal, clean shaven apperance.

Needless to say, Zeb has been going through some serious guess and check measures to figure out which of his superstitions are working and which need to be eliminated. After the outcome of tonight's game, I'd say he's finally starting to get on track.
He started with some good preparation yesterday when he wore his classic Pedro Martinez jersey all day (yes, this is the very same jersey he wore out historically in Eugene in '04 after game 3 of the ALCS in which the Yankees had manhandled the Sox to the tune of 19-3 or something of that nature. Down 0-3, and yes, on the verge of elimination, Zeb showed his devotion to the team by supporting the team colors even when it was somewhat difficult to do so) He has also reverted to an old tradition of setting up the team line-up in front of the TV in baseball cards. He had not been doing this previously this post-season for fear that Ollie might jump up by the TV and damage his cards.
Any other baseball fans had about enough of Bon Jovi? If I hear that stupid song that they're using for the MLB post-season commercial, in between EVERY SINGLE INNING gimmick one more time I'm going to freak out. Oh yeah, that already happened. Jon Bon Jovi, you give MLB post-season theme songs a bad name.

p.s. Best quote by Zeb tonight, said while complaining about how the Red Sox fans were quiet and not giving it their all during most of the series so far: "Yeah, I've been flaming Sox Nation all day on the forums!!!!!" (said in a super juiced/fired up way) .......... Me = "wow"

Bumper Sticker Update

Also: Have been informed of a Prius sporting Obama along with the Oregon with a heart in it, a NASA sticker, a "Reading is Sexy" sticker. I'm pretty bummed there's no picture.

Go to www.7-election.com All I have to say about that is Coffee drinkers love Obama

Happy Birthday Damon!!!

Wow. Nice hair Bob Seger. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAMON!!!!

Bumper Sticker Update

Bumper Sticker Update

I went shopping in the fine town of Albany last weekend, and let me tell you, those people like their bumper stickers. I saw them everywhere! I've also gotten several emails and texts keeping me updated on the bumper sticker goings ons, so I certainly appreciate that. But I have come upon a rather disconcerting phenomenon. I've received an emailed picture of a large truck supposedly sporting both a UO sticker and a McCain sticker, but conveniently enough I was not able to make out the stickers in the photo. It's sort of like Big Foot, some people say they've seen it, and some people even say they have pictures, but I'm not sure I'm a believer. UO and McCain? That's like oil & water.

Also - am working on an interview with a big time bumper sticker veteran. It's a co-worker of Damons, she has supposedly like 8 bumper stickers currently on her car, including an Obama sticker & "A Woman's Place is in the Oval Office" sticker. Looking forward to getting some of our biggest questions answered. Namely, at what point after the election do you remove your candidates sticker? If you've got any burning questions regarding bumper stickers, post 'em up and I'll do my best to get it answered.

Family Picture

My ears aren't the only ones getting older. Ollie is growing up too. Look:

His ears are popped up now......

And he walks on a lease!!!!

Ohhhhhh, ooooooohhhhh, Growing Up

That's a Springsteen reference in the title if you were wondering. Oh come on, watch the link...you know you want to...2:00 mins in, check it out, if you can't enjoy that, you can't enjoy anything.

In a subject completely unrelated to Springsteen: You know those moments when you have to pause and realize "I am Old." How about this one? You're flipping through your ipod and come across a song that used to be an old favorite, one that you had heard hundreds of times before and never taken issue with. But for some reason this time through the uncensored lyrics are so vile and jarring that you are forced to flip to the next song, and vow to promptly removed it from your itunes. Does this ever happen to anyone else? The older my ears get the less able they are to filter out offensive lyrics and allow me to appreciate an otherwise catchy song. I'm pretty sure this is the same condition that causes parents to pick out the one single curse word in any song, and then tell you that you shouldn't be listening to such garbage.

Got any moments that have recently caused you to face your ever climbing age? Post 'em up.

Bumper Sticker Update

This Taurus proves that McCain apparently does not have the entire market of Ford's, and it was taken in McCain's home state of Arizona. Go Figure.

In other news: The first person to spot and photograph a "Coldest State - Hottest Governor" bumper sticker gets $10.

It Begins

You may not be aware of it, but the world as we know it almost ended this morning. Zeb woke up and couldn't find his Soxtober sweatshirt. The sweatshirt that I had made for him with iron on letters. You know - the sweatshirt that single-handedly won the 2007 World Series for the Red Sox. Yeah, that sweatshirt. Zeb had somehow misplaced it during the course of the move from Montana, and even though I offered to make a new one - no replacement would do.

Luckily he found it (exactly where I said it would be by the way) in the storage unit about a half hour later.
I got home from work only to find lucky sox baseball cards lined up in front of the computer. And it begins...

In other baseball related news: In the absence of a Yankees playoff birth, I would officially like to announce that I will be supporting the LA Dodgers this October.

Who will you be backing? Post up your alliances so that we can properly congratulate/heckle you.

Zeb's Pre-Playoff Preparations: The Interview

Here's a fun feature we started last fall during the playoffs.  An interview with Zeb to get inside the head of an insane Boston Red Sox fan.  Beware, what you read may disturb you.  My comments are in italics.

HAE: When does the Red Sox series start?  Who do they play?

ZBE:  They start Wednesday, October 1, and they are playing the Los Angeles Angles of Anaheim.

HAE: What are your plans for this year’s playoffs?  Any new superstitions I should be aware of?

ZBE:  (long sigh)  No new superstitions.  I am really worried that I’m going to have to work and I won’t be able to put in my full effort for the Sox.  They are going to need my strength. 

HAE:  So you’re just going to let it go like that?  No adaptations for your superstitions?

ZBE:  Oh no, I’m going to have to #1) use my lucky cards.  I’ll set those up at work.  Of course I’ll dress in my Red Sox gear & do my own thing.  It’s a new environment, so I’ll just have to figure it out as I go.  Last year I had Pumpkin Ale for every game, but this year I don’t have a World Market close by to get the Pumpkin Ale & I can’t drink at work. 

HAE:  What about any new gimmicks, like your Soxtober shirt from last year?

ZBE:  I don’t think I’ll rock any new gimmicks.  I think I’ll need to go out and wear what worked last year.  But I tell you what, I will work on a new slogan for this year.  Right now it’s just too early to say.

HAE:  What is the Red Sox biggest strength this year?

ZBE:  Camaraderie of the team.  LOL @ Damon.

HAE:  Biggest weakness?

ZBE:  Pitching.  I think Beckett being injured with an oblique problem, not being able to be the “Ace” of the staff, we are going to have to roll with Lester & Dice-K then Beckett.  If I had my way we would be able to run Beckett, Lester then Dice-K.

HAE:  What other key series will you have your eye on?

ZBE:  I know what series I won’t have my eye on, and that’s a Yankees series or a Mets series.  But I am really worried about Tampa Bay.

HAE:  How do you plan to overcome the fact that you frequently have to work late?  Will you look at scores ahead of time, if not, do you have any strategies planned for avoiding unintentional score spoilers?

ZBE:  They do have a small 13 inch TV in the break room that cuts in and out of color.  I’m sure I’ll put that on and check on it pretty regularly.  Trust me, I’ll get my Soxtober in.

HAE:  Admit it – without the Yankees in the playoffs there is a little something missing.

ZBE:  Yeah, an easy opponent, you’re right. (Hartburned)

HAE:  3 Red Sox keys to victory?

ZBE:  1)      Starters need to fill the role of Josh Beckett and his dominance last year.

2)      Team needs to stay healthy, with Lowell, Drew and Beckett all dealing with nagging issues, it will be a huge factor in their ability to get to the World Series.

3)      Jacoby needs to get on base.

HAE:  World Series prediction?

ZBE:  Whoever wins the Sox/Angels division series is going to take it all the way.  In the NL I think the Dodgers will knock off the Cubbies.  The Brewers won’t be able to ride C.C. Sabathia much longer, so the Phillies will take that series.  I think the Dodgers will beat the Phillies as well.  Sox over Dodgers in 7 on an Ortiz walk of homerun, Manny Ramirez breaks his arm.  But hey, nobody thought the Rays would hang on to 1^st place in the AL east, so who knows.

HAE:  We have a good little handful of either LA residents or other miscellaneous Angel’s fans that read the blog – any trash talk/comments for them?

ZBE:  No, I’m going to be a humble guy until we win it all.  You can’t talk shit until the game has been played, its really whoever is going to show up. (There's a first for everything)

HAE:  What team do you think Ollie will be pulling for?

ZBE:  Ollie is definitely a Boston guy.

HAE:  Final thoughts?

ZBE:  Damon/Zach - you better pull for your Dodgers to beat those Cubbies so I can see you in the World Series.

The Office Monday

There are 3 kinds of people in the world.

1. Awesome People: Find The Office hilarious
2. People who have never seen The Office: living WRONG.
3. ... (don't find the office funny? I just can't even fathom that)

That said, the Office premiered this week. Thursday September 25th was possibly the best day in the history of the world, The Beavs upset USC and that wasn't even the best part of my day, as I still had the premiere waiting for me at home on DVR. And yes, I did go home and watch it immediately after the game.

Let's see, where to begin?

• Holly finds out that Kevin isn't really retarded. AWESOME.
• Meredith's face in at the start of the episode? What in the hell happened??
• Angela & Andy's wedding planning - Laef & A-Ross you might be able to get some ideas there.
• Pam off to the graphic design program - weak. But she should be home soon. Will she get her old job back though? Pam's classmate that she's flirting and making jokes with?!?
  
• Michael telling the office that he's the father of Jan's baby.
• Dwight & Angela's booty calls!?
• Ryan the Temp is back, funny but I'm not sure how I feel about it, I was really hating him by the end of last season.
  
• Jim & Pam are engaged!!!! yay!

Post up with your comments/reactions/favorite parts!

Next week on The Office:

BUSINESS ETHICS: Following Ryan's recent scandal at corporate, Holly must hold a business ethics seminar.

OSU vs. USC

This Thursday OSU upset #1 ranked USC at home in Reser Stadium. It was legen...wait for it...dary. It was definitely the biggest game I have ever been on the sideline for, but the problem was that I was so stressed that SC was going to come back and win that I couldn't relax the entire time. It was nationally televised, and that has to be the first time that I've seen the Beavs put together a big win when we're on national TV. It just never happens. We had to hustle all of our gear off the field during the last 3 mins. of the game, because the fans were undoubtably going to rush the field at the end of the game. Everything just seemed to go our way, but I guess sometimes that is what happens when you do the preparation and then go all out when it comes game time.

I was really proud of the guys, and you can't help but think this win wouldn't have been possible without some of the tough losses/learning situations against Stanford & Penn State. At Stanford we played flat, but even though we ended up losing the team showed that they had an ability to hang in there and compete. At Penn State we got a chance to measure ourselves against one of the better teams in the country. That game we looked slow and just plain 1-step behind. It was an opportunity to see what level we could have to play at to compete against the best. So now that we've got the kinks worked out, here's to a 10-2 record?

On a funnier note - I was forced to wear a noise dosimeter the entire day for the nice people at the health and safety board. They had a person from every department, Athletic Training, Equipment, Coaching and various others I'm sure that they rigged up with this ridiculous device to see how much noise we would be exposed to in an 8 hour day. They originally wanted my boss to wear the thing, but he was with the team at the hotel when they arrived and I figured I would man up and take one for the team, as the boss man doesn't much like to deal with extraneous issues on game day.
At first it worked out very well to my advantage, I told the students that they needed to be quite around me due to the microphone. It was great because we have one real chatty cathy that is always making me insane. Too bad that only lasted about 10 minutes. Things turned for the worse when my co-workers decided to try to drive up the sound levels by screaming all of their everyday conversations in the office. Another positive is that it did provide grounds for several cheesy jokes:

Co-Worker: Hey Heather, I have an idea...
Me: Oh yeah, well I'm all ears, and a microphone (turns shoulder with microphone toward person)

Co-Worker: Some random smartass comment
Me. Oh yeah, why don't you say that into the mic if you're so tough.

At the end of the day, it was all worth it though, because we beat USC!!!! GO BEAVS!!!

Ollie's first trip to the Vet

Zeb took Ollie to his first vet's appointment last week. He was shocked that "they stick something up his butt, you know?!?!?" Turns out it was a thermometer to check his temperature. Not as traumatic as Zeb originally made it out to be. He weighs 6.3 lbs. The vet recommends that we brush his teeth regularly, and she also has informed us that the breeder that we bought him from is insane. Yeah lady, we figured that out already.

On Saturday we took Ollie to the ol' SH to squire him about the town and introduce him to his grandparents. On the trip he got the chance to meet a 3 legged rotweiler, a weiner dog & a pit bull/lab mix. Talk about networking. Anyway, pictures and stories to come soon.

Hollar.

Bumper Sticker Update

It's been a good weekend of bumper sticker siteings. I took a wrong turn in residential Corvallis and ran across two new ones, while these great finds (top: Ford F150 NOBama submitted by Scanson, middle: big bronco w/ top off - submitted by Damon, and bottom: Yuppies for Obama BMW x3 submitted by A-Ross) were sent in via pix message. Keep up the good work!!

Presidential Candidate Bumper Sticker Wars

I am obssessed with the siteing and analysis of presidential bumper stickers. There, I said it. I got this idea in my head that it would be interesting to see what kind of people sell out their bumper to each campaign. Would I find all hybrids proudly rocking the Obama, while huge gas guzzling diesel trucks sporting McCain?

The Obamas were initially easier to come by. My first was a Toyota Prius (yes! score!) Followed by a Toyota Camry, a Subaru Outback, another midsized Toyota car, and another Subaru. I was definitely starting to see a trend. The toyota owners and the yuppy/hippy crowd in the subarus are LOVING obama. But would I ever see a McCain bumper sticker? It was becoming the holy grail. Zeb was certain that maybe they just didn't exist. An urban myth if you will? Then it happened. In Sweet Home (of course! yes!) A huge Ford 350, HUGE I tell you, with a McCain/Palin '08 sticker. AWWEEEEESOME. I think what made it so great was the fact that my first siteing for each candidate was exactly what my stereotype had been. Delightful. Other siteings include: New VW bug, Toyota 4-Runner, a Jeep Cherokee and several more midsized toyotas and subaru station wagons for Obama, and a huge motor home with the sticker towing a jeep, another large ford, and a small mazda pickup also with a WWJD sticker all for McCain.

I'm going to start keeping track in a list on the side. Please feel free to comment in this post, or in any future posts to let me know of your siteings so that I can further expand my research into this provacative topic. hehe.

Introducing Oliver "Ollie" Bean

Yay! We got a puppy. Here's the scoop: we've had him for 1 week and he is absolutely taking over our lives. I haven't even been able to think about blogging. I get up an hour early every morning so that I have time to take him out to go to the bathroom, shower and then take him out again and play with him for a while before I go to work. Seriously? Anyone who knows me, knows that I don't get up early for ANYTHING.

Anyway, just to help you all get to know the newest member of the "Married to the Game" family, here is a list of Ollie's likes & dislikes.

LIKES: tennis ball, hoof (this thing smells like poop, but he LOVES it. lucky for him it's taking him a long time to chew it up, because its the last time we'll ever get one of those nasty things again) chewing on bark chips, pulling grass out of the ground, crawling under the sofa to retrieve a errant tennis balls, riding in cars.

DISLIKES: walking on a leash

Wow. That's really just about all I have left in me. I'll try to blog again soon, but really, there is no telling. I don't know what we would do if we actually had a kid. I mean, you can't put a kid in a crate when you get tired. You can't tie a kid's leash to the vacuum cleaner when you get tired of them running around the house trying to chew the carpet. These are our main coping mechanisims people.

What's Your Triple Threat?

Here's and interesting concept we've been mulling over lately. Triple Threats - 3 things that you have an exceptional talent for. I've included the triple threats of a few people here to get you started, but what I really want to know is What is YOUR triple threat????

Me:
1) Stink Eye
2) Making up rules to games that I'm not very good at playing, but like to watch others play (i.e. beer pong, 1-up'smanship & countless others)
3) Getting the last word when fighting with Zeb (zeb made this one up)
Honorable Mention: Singing Bruce Springsteen songs extremely loud in the car.

Zeb:
1) Rally Car Racing (i.e. driving really fast around curse in roads pretending he's a racecar driver, then stating "I really think I could be a racecar driver")
2) Pointless Games (yard games, drinking games, computer/video games, board games)
3) Fistpump

Damon:
1) Thinking of the perfect comeback 10 mins. later when it's too late to actually say it.
2) Theme songs
3) Eavesdropping on other people's conversation (then saying "did you hear that?" like we're all supposed to be listening too)
Honorable Mention: Karaoke, Who's Your Centerfielder?

Co-Worker:
1) Movies (quotes, impressions, critiques/reviews)
2) Serious Voice/Serious Face
3) The Circle Game
Honorable Mention: An uncanny ability to relate a Family Guy episode to any situation in life.

One more example I really like was from a former athlete of mine, one of her triple treats was "an ability to get large appliances/furniture through doorways when moving." So you see, the sky really is the limit. Put your thinking caps on and post up with your triple threats!!!

Victory Wings

One Oregon State Football tradition that I am just now getting acquainted with is Sunday "Victory Wings." On Sundays after a win, Training Table apparently doesn't grade foods by the red, yellow, green light system and they serve up some pretty amazing chicken wings, a.k.a. "Victory Wings" Yes, I'm sure you're thinking...but wait, the Beavers didn't win this week! You're right, but the lovely staff at Training Table stated "the Athletic Trainers didn't lose the game, so why should they be denied the wings?" So they brought down a whole pan of wings to the Athletic Training room today after treatments. Ha! I brought a big serving home to Zeb, and I don't think I would be exagerating when I say that they changed his life. He basically went into a coma when I gave them to him. The following is a text message exchange with a co-worker more experienced in dealing with Victory Wing Induced Coma.

Me: So I gave Zeb the wings & he went into wing coma. He is completely unresponsive, just keeps shoveling wings into his mouth with a great big grin on his face. Is that normal, or should I take him to urgent care?

Co-Worker: That is absolutely normal. Treat with Bud-Light & a shoulder rub. He should come around in about 15 mins. Football can be used in place of shoulder rub.

As you can see in the picture I got him a dose of Bud-Light & it worked like a charm. I believe a direct quote from Zeb during his shoulder rub was "This is what heaven must be like."

Sorry for the blogging absence, more posts to come this week!

Thank Michael Phelps It's Friday

Just a simple text from A-Ross with those simple words and it really set the tone for our day. It proceeded into a non-stop Michael Phelps referencing as follows:

1. What in Michael Phelps name are you talking about?
2. If you don't shut up I'll kick your Michael Phelps butt!
3. Michael Phelps, Mary & Joseph!
4. Don't you take Michael Phelps name in vain!
5. What on Michael Phelps green earth are you doing?

and so on.

Have a good weekend!!

Ipod Skin

I got my ipod skin the other day. I <3 it. Yes, for those of you who watch last comic standing that means I nutsack it. Anyway, I really like it and highly recommend this product to anyone interested in making their ipod awesome.



later: I was going to post a link to the website I bought it from, but apparently the nutsack symbol <3 does something to mess up my hyperlink, so if you're actually interested, just google Istyles. Apparently, it also does something to make my typing be blue and underlined. Word to the wise, don't try to blog the nutsack symbol. It ruins everything.

Happy Birthday Dad!!!

Here's a post dedicated to you and your favorite things:

Salad

Phil

Water Skiing

Smoking Things

American Idol

Church

Catching Big Fish

The Oregon Jamboree

Late Pass Wednesday

The one thing I really wanted Zeb to do during the moving/unpacking process was hang our pictures on the walls. He's better at it than I am, and usually he makes the pictures straight, which i usually can't gather the patience to do. For whatever reason he found it nearly impossible to complete this task for me within the first 6 months of our living back in Corvallis, so one day this summer I finally did it myself. Notice that I even hung a shelf on the wall, which is if you didn't know, universally agreed upon to be the most difficult type of wall hanging device to install. Go me.

"Your Mother" T-Shirts

For those of you with Gmail, you know how they put links in the sidebar related to whatever you are talking about in any given email conversation? Well, for the first time EVER I found this to be a useful feature. Scanson emailed me regarding How I Met Your Mother, and gmail provided me with a link to "Your Mother" T-Shirts. Here are my favorites. I think I'm really going to need to get one. It will go perfectly with my Jason Giambi "Start Spreadin' The 'Stache" shirt. Sorry if you don't watch this show...you won't get this post. But hopefully these AWESOME shirts will tempt to to get on the bandwagon. Check out the rest of the options here.




Which one is your favorite?

How I Met Your Mother

This show has got to be a close 2nd on my television agenda behind The Office. Zeb and I got hooked on it in it's 2nd season, and recently I've been trying to catch up by watching the first season on DVD. It is awesome.

1. Doogie Howser plays Barney. Need I say more? I mean, you had me at Doogie Howser.
2. I was going to list more reasons, but the more times I read # 1, really, that says it all.

I HIGHLY recommend that if you're in the mood to get hooked on a show, that you go out and pick up the first season and watch it. The great news is that the second and third seasons do not disappoint either - so you've got some serious DVD material there. Here's the link to the website, if you want to check it out.

For those of you that already watch the show, here is a quick list of my favorite episodes:

1. Ted moves in with Robin & Barney steals his moving truck with all of his belongings and holds it ransom for one more night of brohood. Best moment of the episode, Barney calls Ted to set his ransom price, when Ted recognizes his voice Barney replies "I'm not Barney, but I hear that guy is Awesome."
2. The Bro Code
3. Lily & Marshall's wedding - everything possible goes wrong, Marshall gets horrible frosted tips and then freaks out and shaves his head into a reverse mohawk. Makes you laugh out loud.
4. The episode where they all point out each other's annoying habits, and once the habit is pointed out, thats all that anyone can focus on, proceeding to drive everyone crazy. Also known as the shattering glass episode.

If you're already a believer, what is your favorite episode??

1-Up of the Week

Person 1: My high school was 4A.

Person 2: Well, my high school was 6A.

Person 3: I got 7 A's on my 4th grade report card.

GAME OVER.

Not Fall Camp Notes

1. Camp offically broke on Saturday. Which is awesome and misleading all at the same time. Yeah, our hours a going to get lighter, but still not light compared to anyone else in the world. We'll still work 7 days a week, usually 12 hour days - 10 if we're really lucky. There's no school, so that means that they coaches schedule various ways for the athletes to be at the football center all hours of the day and night, generally ruining our lives. The time between the break of fall camp and school starting is a weird twilight-zone-like limbo. It feels like we should get a break, but oh yeah, we don't. I woke up pretty bitter this morning, but its starting to wear off. I probably just need to 1-up someone.
2. Have become increasingly obsessed with the Olympics medal count. Here's the deal: we (USA of course) are leading the total medal count, but China is wiping the floor with us in the gold medal count. We typically spend at least 1/2 hour per morning reviewing the latest update of the medal count and then going over ways to ensure US domination. We were counting on the track & field events to make up ground in the golds, but given the fact that Jamaica has been sticking it to the world in the sprints - I'm starting to get worried.
3. In other anti-china news, I am recommending carbon dating to determine the age of those Chinese gymnasts that have caused so much trouble.
4. Spent my half day off on Sunday watching the first season of "How I Met Your Mother" on DVD. Post to come regarding Your Mother.
   
5. Perfected the "freeze frame" High-5 today with one of my co-workers.
6. The Hills season premiere is tonight! Yeah, A-Ross!!
   

Fall Camp Notes - Day 16

1. Last day of doubles, awesome.
   
2. Tomorrow is the last day of "fall camp" really that just means that the team gets to move out of the dorms and the days get slightly shorter. Oh don't worry, I'm sure it will still be at least 12-14 hour days, but we should get a little bit more sleep and be generally less salty in disposition, so that's good.
3. I thought I did some great posting last night, and what the hell do i find when i log on tonight, but that my blog has been hijacked. So i corrected that error.
   
4. Am really impressed and proud of the way this blog has embraced 1-up'smanship. I suggest you try it in your daily lives, its pretty fun. But the one thing is that you want to make sure whoever you are 1-uping is in on the game because otherwise they will just think you are an asshole.
5. Gas prices down to $3.86
6. I'm pretty sure the chef that is in charge of training table is getting tired of the lights system. Today EVERYTHING for lunch was marked greenlight (including this yummy pasta dish & delicious BBQ style chicken,) which seemed a little odd. At dinner the steamed vegetables (clearly marked greenlight) were drenched in butter (soooo not a greenlight move.) I couldn't help but think that maybe he got tired of getting skooged and decided to stick it to the man - errrr woman?
   

Slap Face

Click here immediately to go to The Office website and watch this video!!!

All people will automatically fall into 1 of 3 categories:

1. You have not seen this yet, and you find it to be AWESOME beyond words.
2. You have already seen it and failed to report it to me. You are a bad friend.
3. You are Laef. You brought this to my attention, and you deserve blog fame and glory beyond measure.

1-Uping Michael Phelps Style

So we had a 1-up session yesterday morning featuring Michael Phelps that morphed into those Chuck Norris style jokes. It was amazing. If anyone out there hasn't heard all the hoopla about Chuck Norris, just tell me and I'll be glad to post up my favorites. They give me great joy. Anyway, without further delay I present: 1-uping Michael Phelps Style. I believe this is just about exactly how it went down:

1. Michael Phelps won a gold metal in gymnastics.
2. Michael Phelps ran into Chuck Norris on the street and kicked his ass.
3. Michael Phelps enlisted in the Georgian Army and Russia declared a cease fire.
4. Michael Phelps' mother is a paid actress - he gave birth to himself.
5. Michael Phelps single-handedly reversed global warming and solved the energy crisis.
6. Jesus never actually walked on water, that was just Michael Phelps giving him a ride.

That last one was the kicker that ended the game. The walk off grandslam in the 9th inning if you will. It's a little irreverent, but damn it makes me laugh to envision.

Fall Camp Notes - Day 7 - 15

1. Wow. So much to say - I could make like 17 posts or just one GINORMOUS one. I think people get overwhelmed with too long of posts (like thats ever stopped me before.) So it's a huge dilemma.
2. Yesterday I was told by one our our football players (a senior, no less, so he knows what he's talking about) that I am the Michael Phelps of taping. Probably the best compliment I have ever received. ever. See future post regarding Michael Phelps.
3. Training table chicken tortilla soup is pretty much my fall camp savior. It's like water, or air. It is essential. Today I had a bowl for dinner and it completely revitalized me. You can probably credit my blogging abilities tonight to that soup. It's a yellow light food, by the way.
   
4. In other color coordinated food news, I lost 2 lbs the first week of camp and an additional 1 lb. the second week. I know that's not much, but it's giving me motivation to stick with the stop light plan.
5. It's effing hot here today. I sweated so much at practice that my skin had that white salty residue on it.
   
6. Have had some recent questions regarding how 1-up's manship is going. It's amazing. I've collected a few of our daily winners and am ready to share them here. Bear in mind that often times during fall camp things will happen that we find utterly hilarious, but will make no sense to the outside world. I apologize if that is the case here:

Person 1: "I haven't had any wiskey since fall camp started"
Person 2: brings stethescope to person 1, makes them listen to bowel sounds and explains "I don't need to drink wiskey, I have a distillery in my liver and my body produces it naturally"

Person 1: "What did you learn today?"
Student: "I learned how to cast a wrist"
Person 1: "You watched me cast that wrist, you didn't learn shit" room falls silent, then bursts into laughter and entire AT Staff rises to their feet to give a standing ovation (that might be an exageration)

Grad Student: "Do you have guitar hero?"
Me: "Uhhhh, yes" said in a disgusted tone, shouldn't that be obvious?
Everyone else in the room: Goes through various 1-up's regarding other things that would be obvious to ask
Me: "Do I have US Citizenship?"

1. (yeah I know that should be # 7, but I couldn't get it to format that way, and I am too tired to try, so deal with it) Was thinking while at px. (practice) today (now like 10 days ago) that I forgot to call Snacktime for calling the UO Athletic Trainers lazy just because they are lucky enough to have an equipment staff that fills their water pumpers. Haters wanna hate.
2. I would like to hollar at Coach Scanson for vowing to become a loyal reader of married to the game. Check out my soon to come the office post, amazing.
   

Throwback Thursday

I love this video. This is definitely one song that you can't help but sing along to and make Egyptian type gestures when it comes on. One of our big things at work it to create playlists on Pandora and listen to them at work. On of my co-workers is really picky about the playlists, but the one themed Michael Jackson - Remember The Time is a FAVORITE.



How awesome is it when he turns into sand? and what about Magic Johnson & Eddie Murphy. Love it!

Late Pass Wednesday

I know I haven't been blogging much lately, but this should more than make up for it. Let me set the stage for you:

Me = watching the world series in our bedroom in Bozeman, with handy camera phone. Zeb = watching the world series down stairs. Red Sox win and chaos ensues. enjoy.

Wallpaper of the Month. (Yes it use to be of the Week) I KNOW THIS!!

So I went camping over the weekend with Jon and Damon over by East Lake(flipping Gorgeous) and we came across this look out point that over looked the World yes the entire World. Check it out for yourself and save it as a wallpaper.



Ok if you didn't like that one let's try one of the hidden falls nested deep into the steep terrain that we hiked.



Overall, we all enjoyed the MEN ONLY camping trip. We pretty much played Horseshoes, Poker, drank beer, hiked and took photos. Let me tell you though this wasn't just a "lets see who can drink 10 beers faster then the other guy" trip. It was a lets have a couple now followed by a game then eat and a couple more. I was really impressed that NO one challenged me to the game I mentioned above because that's what usually happens. After all said and done we go to sleep about midnight when everyone in the campground was in bed at 9 and just start laughing hysterically at Damon's brothers song "WHY" I haven't laughed so hard for so long in my life. It was the feeling that your abs were going to cave in and you were going to die but you couldn't do nothing about it but just laugh and cry more because it hurt that bad. Sorry for the quick blog I have to get going to my new AWESOME job.

Fall Camp Notes - Day 6

1. Gas prices are down to $3.99
2. Lot's of good 1-Up'ing today, one co-worker made a one up so funny while I was in the middle of eating my turkey sandwhich for lunch that I laughed unexpectedly mid-bite and snorted mustard into my nasal cavities - like when you're drinking a glass of milk and someone makes you laugh and the milk gets snorted out of your nose. Well, let me tell you, mustard in the old sinuses doesn't feel so great.
3. Had a cookie with dinner.
4. Tomorrow is our first day of full pads and also our first double day, I don't know if I'll manage to blog tomorrow - it could get ugly.
5. Joba is got an MRI, and he's getting a second opinion - and they don't get second opinions on papercuts, son.
6. I'm going to re-post Zeb's blog to the top of the page, because he needs a little more blog face time. Comment away.
   

Official American Mustache Institute Statement On The Passing of Giambi's Mustache

It lived a life most of us would envy. But in the end, Jason Giambi's mustache never really had a chance, and ended up in a bathroom basin, dead after less than a few months of life.

The American Mustache Institute salutes Mr. Giambi and his mustache, for having the bravery to walk proudly down the same lines upon which other great Yankee mustaches have -- including Reggie Jackson, Thurman Munson, Don Mattingly, and Sal Fasano. Our hearts and prayers go out to Mr. Giambi, his family, and the Yankees organization. And while we are all gravely disappointed by the passing of Jason's mustache, no one, or thing, feels a greater loss than his upper lip. The thick coating of fur had become a part of that lip - like peanut butter and jelly - and we can only hope Giambi's late lip sweater isin a better place.

It is important during this time of mourning that we all reflect and understand that every time a mustache is shaved, an angel in heaven dies and falls to earth. And the American Mustache Institute has established a fund in memory of Mr. Giambi's mustache that will be used to educate young people about the merits of facial hair, circus clowns, and juggling.

In the end, while the hearts of mustached-Americans everywhere are broken, we must always remind ourselves that a mustache is a terrible thing to shave.

We look forward to a newly erected monument in the new Yankee Stadium commemorating Giambi's mustache alongside Ruth, Gehrig, and DiMaggio.

Fall Camp Notes - Day 5

1. Invented a new game today. It's called 1-up'smanship. You see we have a real 1-up'er that works with us. I won't say the name of the person, or the capacity in which they work, but I'll say that they drive us crazy. So we devised a game to entertain ourselves. The goal of this game is to 1-up the 1-up'er. You know, 1-Up'ers are those people who have been everywhere, done everything and know everything twice. They always have to put in their two sense, and try to tell a story that is somehow bigger or more interesting than yours. And you usually have a sneaking suspicion that they're lieing! Anyway, tomorrow is our first full day of 1-Up'smanship, we're going to attempt to top every outlandish claim this person make throughout the course of the day. Should be fun, I'll let you know how it goes.
   
2. F'ing Joba Chamberlain left the game in the 5th inning with a stiff shoulder? Oh hell no.
3. Got some new sandals from work, they remind me of those ones that everyone had in Jr. High - you know one thick strip across the top of the foot, usually addidas. Yeah, 8th grade called and they want my shoes back.
4. Zeb made a bomb post huh? I'm proud of him, and his witty remarks. He should blog more.
5. It's getting HOT here this week. I am working on possiby the worlds greatest sock tan line ever. I'll document it at the end of camp and let you guys see what I'm working with. People started getting crabby today and we haven't even started full contact yet. Wednesday morning the shit might hit the fan.
   

There's No More Hits In It

ARLINGTON, Texas -- Jason Giambi arrived in the Yankees clubhouse Monday without his famous mustache. But it won't be gone for long, he said.

Giambi, who began to swing well around the time he decided to grow a mustache back in May, has been slumping, hitting .234 with three homers in July and going 0-for-9 through three August games. But he kept the facial hair because the team was still winning.

He was taken out of the game in the eighth inning Sunday for defensive purposes, and when the Yankees fell behind 9-8, Giambi decided to shave.

"I shaved it as soon as I came out of the game," Giambi said. "We were losing when they hit that grand slam and then we came back and won."

Giambi said he's already growing a new mustache.

"In about a week, it will be back. It goes hand and hand with winning," Giambi said. "I would have kept it if we were winning that game."

Perhaps the mustache was weighing him down. In his first two mustache-free at-bats, he hit an RBI single in the first and an upper-deck home run in the fourth. He hadn't had a hit since Thursday.

Giambi came into the game hitting .249 with 20 homers and 62 RBIs.

Fall Camp Notes - Day 4

1. Today was the first day of shells practice (for those not schooled in the language of football it means they only wear shoulder pads and helmets for protection and they don't go full contact.) Things are starting to ramp up, and I'm feeling like its just about time to turn it up a notch. WATCH OUT.
   
2. Still no cookie today, but I have convinced myself to have one tomorrow after dinner.
   
3. Slightly less bitter today than yesterday. Zeb is home from his weekend camping trip, so that's nice. He took some awesome pictures at East Lake, so you're lucky he'll get in the blogging spirit and slap some of them up here for everyone to check out.
4. My co-worker got worn out by one of our SIDs for dropping a pass during practice today on the official website - embarrassing! Click here to read, it's in the "practice points" section. If you know him feel free to harass him.
   

Fall Camp Notes - Day 3

1. Boo.
2. Ate all green light foods today, I would probably be in a better mood if I had a cookie after my meal.
   
3. A forgotten note from yesterday: yesterday was my first ever football practice as a staff member, which means NO WATER BOTTLES. Pretty awesome.

That's all I have, it was a lot harder to get up today. How is it possible that we've only had 2 practices?

Fall Camp Notes - Day 2

1. First day of practice today, it helped me remember some of the reasons why I really do like working football, I can still whip out a pristine OSU football ankle with the best of 'em, and actually it's still pretty fun when you get in the madness of the pre-practice preparations.
2. I've gotten more gear in the past 2 days than the past 6 months that I've been here. That's nice.
3. I'm working on getting my memory skills back, I was a little bit surprised today at how well I was starting to get a hold on several of the guys names and positions. I still have a ways to go, but it's looking promising.
4. My boss challenged us all to to a weigh-in at the start of camp and then again when camp it over. It's easy to over eat with all the free food constantly provided, so this was just a way for us to keep it all in check. I have never in my life gone through a football camp with the intention of eating health-fully; there is just too much good food for that kind of nonsense, but this year I am really going to give it a legitimate shot. At the dining hall they show the menu based on weather it is a "red light" "yellow light" or "green light" food. You get the idea, red light are foods that aren't very good for you and you should limit your consumption, yellow are foods to be cautious with, and green light foods you can go right ahead. Ha. Well, I must say I've been doing a really good job the last 24 hours of sticking strictly with the green light foods. This means no dessert, no soda, portion control, and plenty of fruits and veggies. Overall I am proud of my efforts but I have to say that the last two nights when I have gotten home I have been starving & none too satisfied. I think for my own sanity I may have to devise a rule regarding the occasional consumption of desserts. It is fall camp, so I fully reserve the right to take back all these intentions and go after the fried foods and all you can eat desserts (breakfast, lunch and dinner) at any time. I'll let you know how it goes.
   

Fall Camp Notes - Day 1

1. Today was physicals & health updates day. One easy task for the Student Athletes is updating their contact information. It is alarming how many of these kids don't know their own address. They don't know where they live. Some have somewhat reasonable explainations (i.e. I just moved) but some have lived in the same place for quite some time, and just never bothered to find out the address. Seriously?
2. Today my ovaries came in handy. All the guys on staff have to take turns staying in the dorms during Camp. I don't. :)